NEW XANGA::  http://www.xanga.com/spontaneousdisposition

yes oh yes...enjoi
(*((hali))*)

My uncle is back home now. The hair on one side of his head is gone and he has staples or something there from where he had surgery. (*(sorry if you couldn't read that from the other day)*) So, I'm waiting for Heather to update her xanga so I can COPY&PASTE her insightful words, because insightful they are...anyway so just click on this >>>> http://www.xanga.com/hethrbh and be sure to read what she wrote for today. So yes...I don't have anything to do for today so far. So if you wanna do somn just call me...UNLESS you're HEATHER and I cant go because i'd be home at like 4 in the morning....my head hurts... :'(

bleh I don't think my link thing is working.... *TEAR*****

Currently Listening Beneath the Encasing of Ashes By As I Lay Dying Blood Turned To Tears see related

I honestly do not know what’s wrong with me. Today I woke up (unwillingly) and I was fine. I mean my life is just so crazy right now…

I’ll start off with this: a few weeks ago my Uncle Darrell had a stroke. He’s not exactly a “little” man either but still…I came inside from swimming and noticed my Aunt Barbara had called. So I checked the answering machine to see if she had left a message and she had. As I listened to it my mouth just dropped and I wanted to cry but I didn’t. (the two are married if you couldn’t tell) Anyway, a blood vessel in his brain was “leaking” or whatever and they had to take him from JRMC to Little Rock. Needless to say, I was like freaking out. He ended up having surgery and last I heard he was doing fine. Between him being here and him having his surgery I cried the whole time. It was gross. Ask Katie or Amber if you don’t believe me…CUZ THEY KNOW! ßI was with them…

            I got a letter from Rigel today. It made me so exuberant J He’s gonna send me a c.d and another letter soon. He says it barely fits in the envelope and he isn’t even finished. That’s crazy, but I wrote him a “novel” myself (like 12 – 15 pages…can’t remember) and gave it to him the day he left. I miss him so much…I think he’s angry with me…or I’m just continuously catching him at bad times. Yes. The letter was lovely. Yet at the same time I wanted to cry. My feelings for him are so mixed… I mean he like my BEST friend (male at least)… sometimes when it comes to him I want to cry because I miss him so much. I’ve talked to him about it and we agree there’s nothing to do….but still….its just comforting for me to know that if I need to talk to someone and things get so bad….they’ll be HERE for me in 30 minutes or less… I don’t know…maybe it’s just me.

Back to the “drama” in my life… just a little though… I’ve gotten in a lot of fights with some really good friends of mine. I don’t know if it’s me overreacting or if the reason of my “going off” was worth it?!.?!.?!. I just talked to one of the people and everything seems to be ok now…but there are still other people. I don’t know. Sometimes I just get so depressed. I can just lie there at night and just start thinking things…things that a normal 17 year old shouldn’t think of…and that frightens me. It’s hard to explain my thought process because a lot of people wouldn’t understand. Maybe that’s why I’m a “bia” to so many people…no one really comprehends me as an individual. That doesn’t even make sense. BLEH This is a big entry so I think I’m gonna make Amber her c.ds now.

LEAVE me lots of comments so ill feel special. I love you dearly.    

Currently Listening The Doubble Donkey Disc By Ozma No One Needs To Know see related

Every breath that I exhale is a sigh -
every breath that I exhale is a sigh of exhaustion.
[repeating throughout]
How sad - this is what your life has
been reduced to - a single room apartment containing no more than a mattress.
The strings have been removed from the blinds and all the outlets have been
painted over. The television screen is streaked with blood smeared from your
knuckles as you were trying to punch it out but you underestimated its
strength, or maybe you just weren't trying hard enough. Startled by a knock
at the door you rise for the first time in two days to answer, but you can
only greet the visitor with one short statement. Hello my first name is
distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello my name is
distance and I really don't care if I never wake up again. Hello I really
don't care if I never wake up again. I really don't care if I never wake up
again.
^^from autumn to ashes- mercury rising

The intensity of it...
This evening I went to the mall with Mother and Father and bought a new pair of shoes. They're Osiris and brown with some blue and white around the O thing. I've never worn Osiris so I hope I like them. I MISS MY VANS!! BLLEEHHH! The shoes will match my Ap Lit shirt though. I should be getting a letter from Rigel Tuesday, which makes me beyond exuberant...then a cd then another letter...I'm tired. It's been a LONG day for me. G'night kiddos...
Hali

So i thought i would update very quick like... my mother is working out at hairitage now. *YAY*** her name is tammy hodges. we would be rather exuberant if you went there and let her make you pretty. oh yes oh yes. SADNESS is what im overcome with now....leah is all the way in batesville and i havent seen her in a quite a long time. or so it seems. plus this whole hurricane thing is just beyond sad... i dont know. i want to do something, like go down there and just start building houses or something. i mean...we can all do something here. sending water (VITAL)and food and blankets and things for small children/babies would be helpful. gosh my step mom spent $200.00 at walmart today. which is a lot....but its for a good cause ya know?? so im going to get off now...love to you!!

Currently Listening Hot Fuss By The Killers see related